Let me begin by reiterating that the title of my blog has nothing to do with my mom. She does not in fact have the face of any colour cat. Go back a couple posts and read the origin of these words.
Secondly, let me explain to you how
a) my mother is slightly nuts (not in the cute “oh mom, you are so silly”, no, she is probably borderline call the crazy-home and get her a spot in line) – she is, and has always been, the classic dumb blonde as well.
b) the world is a giant conspiracy and everyone is out to get you (and people wonder where my lack of positivity comes from?)
c) on numerous occasions she has left voice mails on my phone that are actual conversation with the machine – no joke, a full on monologue including poignant questions (I wonder if she gets concerned when the machine doesn’t answer back?)
d) some how, by the grace of baby jesus, she was taught (by I can only assume a Saint) how to text on her cell phone — I know, she has a cell phone, it baffles me too.
I guess the answer lies in my father, who has always been enthralled with technology – This man knows more about today’s advancements in computers than I do – I think he might possibly be more intelligent than Bill Gates on the subject (Not that is hard after you try to use Windows 7 for a day and decide to become a Quaker because not only do they have fine rolled oats, they also do not have to deal with the bullshit of Windows 7)… I digress… I can only assume my father was high on his meds and decided to teach her how to text. Bless his soul.
Now, my mother LOVES to text – not that she does it well, as she starts every single text with “Hi marie, its mom”, or sometimes a variation along the lines of “himare itap moom” – as she seems to think that you can’t tell who is texting you unless they tell you — often she also asks if it is a secure line and if anyone else can see her messages (like I said, conspiracies everywhere). This lady texts as much as a 14-year-old… and they all to me, because I have too much of a heart not to reply. And the entertainment value is generally worth the pain of navigating through what I can only assume is how her mind works.
Strewn between her rambling 4 page long texts and blank empty texts (I don’t even know how she sends a text with nothing in it), are a few gems that can only make you agree that old people should definitely be allowed to continue to roam the world spreading joy through their views and excitement of technology they don’t even understand.